human disease

no
more
suffering
...

13

goodbye my love
its time to say goodbye
ive gotta get over
ive gotta get better
id rather cry alone
than have you seen me
like this
id rather deal with the pain
at my own pace
i know its a bit much
but i dont mind the
guilt
half the time im not there
so anyways
pick yourself up off the floor
and do your best
whether i stay
or go
i dont know
and its not in your hands
so dont you worry
i wont mind
im just broken hearted
id rather let you go
than
let you down
anymore
and i know
you feel it too
goodnight
...

alone

my knees
scrape
through
every level of
hell
what have i
been denying myself of
i dont dare take anyone
with me
not this time
im determined to fight
fight my way
the only way out is through
will you be my crutch
pick me up
you and my only friend
i will carry on
...

lost

your breath is the fresh air
i miss on the back of my neck
your eyes the sunshine that
hasnt touched my skin in days
your lips a silence that is
lost
your flesh a peace thats only
felt inside
your smile trapped within
my heart
...

Were on the Western Side

"Really, the disease is centered in our thinking, and primarily in the ego. It is a disease of self centeredness. If we can learn to be loving, selfless, kind, considerate, honest, trustworthy, caring and true to our principles, then it is highly unlikely we would ever use again. Its a daily practice. Buddhism is a fantastic launch pad for living those spiritual principles. The ego is a spoiled child. It needs to be gently refused its food. Love truly is the only answer to the problem of addiction. "

Bradley Stewart

a man i use to talk to

early in my junk phase

him along with david reilly

gave me words of encouragment

during my desparte periods

i remember late nights

talking to him

the smell of nag champa

i had this strange feeling

like i needed to listen to Sorry You Saved Me

upon checking up on him

i found that he had passed

OCT 08 08

he was best known

as

GIDGET GEIN

...

silver

the nights have been grey
there is a panic in the chest
a fear of necrotizing
a hatred towards a virus
eyes half closed
and somehow clean
no more scraping the bottom
for what its worth
id rather be bored
than desparte
...